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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Can anything good come out of February? (Part I)

This is the time of year when a whole lot of cinematic crap is excreted from the recta of the major film studios. But there might be a gem or two in there. (Wow, that sounds like it could be a bit painful, huh?)

I'm going to take a look ahead at what's coming to theaters this month and offer my thoughts on each one. And for those of you who find interest in such things, I referenced the New Testament in my title. Whoever tells me what book, chapter, and verse first gets a cookie! Two cookies if you can tell me the name of the person credited with uttering the original quote, which was possibly the best joke ever made about Jesus Christ, at least until the Chitty Chitty Death Bang episode of "Family Guy." (http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3023962137/)



The Pink Panther 2


Remember when Steve Martin was funny? You might have to think back awhile. Did Planes, Trains & Automobiles really come out more than a decade ago? I'll give a few points to any movie for featuring the adorable Emily Mortimer (watch Disney's The Kid), but overall my thoughts on this franchise can be summed up thusly: Rest in peace, Peter Sellers. If you can.



Call me a cynic, but this looks like another lame Matrix rip-off (which some claim to be itself a Dark City rip-off). The marketing for this one includes some of the lamest TV spots I've ever seen. Marketers used to reserve quotes attributable to no one for the back of the video. Now they're using them on television ads.

He's Just Not That Into You


I must admit to enjoying the trailer for this film--the first time I saw it. It actually gave me a new perspective on the male-female romantic relationship. Now I've seen the TV ad about a hundred times, and I just can't wait for this to come and go. On its own merits, it appears to boast a decent cast with some good lines, but also some tired cliches. However, having never watched HBO's "Big Love," I have only just discovered Ginnifer Goodwin and would probably watch this movie just for her.



A group of Star Wars geeks go to Skywalker Ranch to steal a copy of The Phantom Menace for their dying friend because he might not live to see its release? Curses that this movie is not showing in my area! Curses! (Yes, I'm a Star Wars geek.)



This is it, people. This is the most exciting movie coming out this month. This is the one I'd put my money on to be not only the best movie of the month, but one of the best of the year. Director Henry Selick is one of the three brilliant minds responsible for giving us the milestone classic The Nightmare Before Christmas (along with creator/producer Tim Burton and composer Danny Elfman). Coraline looks to be just as fantastic and creepy and beautiful. If you get to the theater once this month, this is the one I suggest seeing.

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