I like to collect random bits of speech I've heard in passing--phrases and statements heard completely out of context of the private conversations in which they were spoken. Here are three good ones:
1) "It's like the Buddhist says: 'One must strive for balance.'"
2) "Those are just a bunch of pipes! Why are you even looking at that?"
and my personal favorite,
3) [Spoken in a very hushed and serious tone] "I've been doing a lot of thinking... and I know what kind of cat I want to get."