Relative accomplishments

I accomplished something today that I have long wished to accomplish: I learned to drive stick-shift. That is, I basically learned. The real accomplishment will be taking a bus to Florida and making it back to New York with my uncle's five-speed truck in one piece.

Writing for writing's sake

I asked my friends to hold me accountable to writing at least one blog entry per day for a week, starting this past Friday. Today is Sunday, meaning I've already dropped the ball two days in a row. (Well, technically the clock switched over to Monday 44 minutes ago, but this should still count as a Sunday night blog.)

Truth is, I don't even think to log in every day unless something has happened that day to inspire me to write something I think is worth others' time to read, and even when something worth writing about does happen, if I don't write about it right away, I forget to write about it later.

One thing that happens a lot is that I receive inspiration on the road. I get a lot of good writing ideas while I'm driving. Unfortunately, it would be dangerous and potentially counterproductive to write down ideas while I'm driving, because I firmly believe that it's difficult to blog about things when you're dead. (I'm also hoping that I won't care much about blogging in the afterlife.) I tried talking into a digital recorder once on a road trip, but all I got on the playback was ambient driving noise.

Sometimes, when I'm being particularly prudent and deliberate about my writing, I'll pull over and write something down while the thoughts are fresh. But even this can be dangerous, and annoying, if I'm trying to pull over every five minutes. I guess what I should do is take a few minutes to write in a journal every time I arrive somewhere.

Now, here's hoping I remember to do that. And there, meager and "meta" as it may be, is Sunday's post.

Hollywood News!

This just in! Tom Cruise dumps Katie Holmes for Nicolas Cage! A publicist for the pair informs us that it was when they "looked into each other's eyes and recognized the crazy" that they knew they were meant to be together. No word yet on what bizarre name they'll give their first child. (Our money is on "General L. Zod Hubbard"--whether it's a boy or a girl.)

In other news, mega-producer Jerry Bruckheimer hugs a bald man.

http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2325971456/rg3148913152

A true Hollywood story....

Director Kevin Reynolds sits beside the camera. "Okay everyone, quiet on the set! And, ac-"

"Hang on," Kevin Costner interrupts.

"What's the problem?" asks Reynolds.

"I'm not ready yet," replies Costner.

"But we've been prepping for four hours for this one scene of dia..."

"Okay. I'm ready. Action!" Costner shouts.

Reynolds looks at the ground dejectedly. "Action," he mutters to the cast inside his head, where Robin Hood is played by Daniel Day-Lewis.

Morgan Freeman is looking at Reynolds. He then looks over at Costner, who has his face bent toward the ground, his eyes closed tightly, obviously trying very hard to be English.

Freeman rolls his eyes, takes a deep breath, centers himself, and speaks: "Christian!"

"What?" says Christian Slater, standing just off-camera.

Everybody looks at Slater, who is focusing on Morgan Freeman, one eyebrow cocked, waiting. Freeman looks at Slater and nods subtly toward Costner, who still has his eyes closed. Slater cocks an eyebrow in Costner's direction. "Oh, right," Slater says. "My bad."

"Cut," says Reynolds.

"No, no, it's okay," says Costner. "Keep rolling, we'll just go again."

"Let's try it again," mutters Reynolds. He has a brief flashback to the set of Fandango. His eye twitches once.

Morgan Freeman is still looking at Christian Slater. He then looks at Costner, who is again concentrating on the Anglo-Saxon warrior within. Freeman takes a deep breath, trying to center himself. It's a bit harder this time, but suddenly he has a vision of a tall man on a Mexican beach fixing a boat, and is overcome with peace. He opens his eyes, full of Moorish fire, and bellows, "Christian!"

"Hm?" says Slater, cocking an eyebrow toward Freeman. Costner keeps his eyes closed. Freeman desperately clings to his vision of tropical paradise.

Reynolds sighs. "It's okay, just keep 'em-"

"Cut!" yells Costner. He walks off to a nearby line of trees.

"Ah... I'm sorry," says Slater. "Maybe Kevin's character could have a less confusing name? Hm? Are the writers on-set?"

Costner is gazing into the distance, imagining rolling plains covered with millions of the majestic tatanka.

Reynolds is muttering to himself about a post-apocalyptic world in which the glaciers have melted and covered the planet in one big ocean.

Freeman has his eyes closed, and is back on that Mexican beach. He sees the tall man working on the boat. The sand turns velvety red. The tall man turns into a golden statue. Freeman smiles a big, toothy grin. Suddenly, a strange man in shorts and sneakers, with long scraggly hair and a red baseball cap, comes jogging across the beach. He jogs past Freeman, stops, turns around, says "I'm pretty tired, I think I'll go home now," grabs the golden statue, and runs back from whence he came. The smile disappears from Freeman's face.

Slater has one eyebrow cocked, looking around at the other actors for validation. "Right?" he says. "Less confusing names?"

Reynolds snaps out of his hallucinatory state, takes a few seconds to remember why he is in a medieval forest, sees Costner is nowhere to be found, is overcome by happiness, and announces, "Alright, let's take five. We'll get it when we come back!"

"I hope," mutters Morgan Freeman.

Movie violence

My recent viewing of Kick-Ass got me thinking about movie violence. I've been trying to solidify my thoughts about it, and here is what I've come up with so far:

I have no problem when filmmakers depict acts of violence. Nor do I have a problem with filmmakers depicting acts of extreme violence. I don't even have a problem with filmmakers depicting acts of sadistic violence. What I do have a problem with, and this goes for Kick-Ass in a most exceptional way, is when filmmakers depict sadistic violence and then positively reaffirm it for the audience. 

There is plenty of sadistic violence in Schindler's List, but it is a beautiful, brilliant, good film about the horrors of what man does to man. There is some sick sadism in A History of Violence, but that film is ultimately anti-violence. There are plenty of sadistic villains in the James Bond films, but such a thing is designed to put the audience against the bad guys and for the good guys. Even when Bond himself turns ice-cold in his use of violence, it never makes the audience feel good about it. If anything, it makes me slightly afraid of the hero.

What Kick-Ass does is show a little girl brutally slaying a room full of criminals, with which I would not necessarily have taken issue, but for the ones she kills who aren't even putting up a fight, and the expression of glee on her face as she does so, and the way the audience members around me seemed to be enjoying it. Put all these things together, and it makes me sick.

(Criticisms such as these are also why I think Crank is one of the filthiest movies ever made and is one of, if not the worst movie I've ever watched.)

I'm still not sure how I feel about Kick-Ass as a whole. There is a lot about it that I really appreciate, but I can not and will not get on board with thinking there is anything good about treating sadism so lightly.

Google Search Top 10: "How do I...."

10. how do i breathe lyrics

9. how do i delete my myspace

8. how do i live without you song lyrics

7. how do i download youtube videos

6. how do i delete my facebook account

5. how do i love thee

4. how do i look

3. how do i know if i'm pregnant

2. how do i get a passport

1. how do i find my ip address

I find numbers 1 and 7 amusing.

Why do you seek the living among the dead?

I can't tell you how many times in my youth I said the "sinner's prayer." I always felt like maybe I'd forgotten to say something important, that I'd missed a key phrase or idea. I always felt I was still a hopeless sinner. In October of 1998, I went to a Three Crosses concert in Pine Bush, New York. It was that night I had an epiphany: By grace are you saved through faith, and that not of yourself--it is the gift of God (Ephesians 2:8).


I'd like to share with you, in honor of the resurrection we celebrate today, my favorite Three Crosses song (which, perhaps not coincidentally, was co-written by my favorite band of the past 15 years). I also encourage you, whether you have that faith or not, even if just to get a better perspective on what Christians celebrate today, or why we celebrate it, to read the biblical passages of Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and John 20. It is so important, that all four of the gospel accounts include it. The crucifixion would have been meaningless without it. It is, in truth, the moment on which our faith and our freedom from sin and death hinge.


(Disclaimer: I've tried about 30 times, and the formatting keeps getting messed up for some reason.)






"The Stone Was Rolled Away"

Written by Three Crosses & Jars of Clay
Recorded by Three Crosses for the album Jefferson Street (1996)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
You wrote them off as fables,
Just stories that you'd use to pass the time
But still there's something calling you,
Begging you to read between the lines

Seeing the signs, the signs of His grace
Now you're awakened by the Spirit's embrace

The stone was rolled away....

Watching now in judgment,

You've heard the truth but rarely seen the light
But somehow when you look again, you're seeing something deeper,
A change that brings new life

Seeing the signs, trusting your faith
Now you're awakened by the Spirit's embrace

The stone was rolled away 
(You know you'll never find the living among the dead)....

Why can't you see?

(I tried to catch a glimpse of You, but all I saw was an empty tomb)

I am so free

(How was I to understand that You were God and You were man?)

What more can I do or say?

The stone was rolled away....

"Why do you seek the living among the dead?" (Luke 24:5)